complicated mind.. confused mind..

swan song

2007-05-12T08:18:00.000+08:00

i guess this would be my last post..
time does heal wounds, but the scar there is irremovable.. just hope that nothing would trigger the scar and expose the flesh again..
time to throw away the past and move on

time heals all wounds..

2007-03-26T10:01:00.000+08:00

taken frm my 1st post:
If you think that remembering things is difficult, try forgetting them..
Some things can never be erased from your mind no matter what you do..
"Time heals all wounds"
Is it true?
If so, how long?
I'm about to find out..

looks like some scars can never heal.. or may take a longer time to heal..

now i know what kind of person i am:
always trying to move forward, but keeps on looking at the back.. tsk tsk.. vry dangerous.. high possibility of falling down..

need to change this stupid habit..

"The slashers' era has ended once i picked up my Sakabatou.."
- Himura Kenshin

2007-03-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

ok.. thx to yoong wend that i found out the actual name of that song: Love Me, by Collin Raye..

and some minor factual changes to my previous post.. firstly, it's "BIATHLON", not "biathalon".. Christel Fung Shufen (Singaporean) finished the 1.5km swim with a timing of 17:16, 1st swim timing for Women's Open, 2nd swim timing overall.. 1st overall swim timing was set by Lim Zhi Cong (Singaporean), 16:19.. Overall 1st placing was Bucky Schafer (American) with a timing of 0:56:55.. Victoria Campbell (British) finished the biathlon 1st for the Women's Open with a timing of 1:05:57.. OMG.. are they human??

the past week was a very exhausting week.. dives, dives and more dives..

had breakfast with my cabin-mates this morning at Ya-Kun at Northpoint after book-out.. my 1st time eating at Ya-Kun.. the kaya toast and sugar butter toast are vry nice.. although i can make lower quality toasts for myself at home for free.. but hey, that's business..

going to Taiwan next month

other than these, nothing much happened.. leading quite a boring life.. and I'm quite bored of it.. zzz

thought of the day:
The world is full of deceit and lies.. Every human being live to survive in this world.. Every individual live only for themselves.. They help others either because they can gain some benefits or they hope to gain some benefits out of it.. They hide the truth from others because they are scared that once the truth is out, they will incur losses.. Everyone is wearing a mask, hiding their true selves.. The world is fake.. True colours will be seen only when people are being pushed to the limits..

true or not, it's up to you to decide and believe..

fyi, most of these are juz randomly thought out by me while writing these posts.. only some that i specified are extracted or quoted from other people.. so please notify me if u wanna use these 'quotes' or wadeva u call them..

Singapore Biathalon (preparations)

2007-03-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

last wk was a happening wk..

had 2 tests and a retest.. dived alot using new equipments.. played Time Crisis 2, 3 and 4 during liberty.. and most happening of all, the stupid Singapore Biathalon preparations..

juz 2 full days.. thursday, and a stupid saturday (1/2 a wkend gone).. and got my whole body sunburnt in the process.. pain pain pain.. but it was quite worth it.. i got shocked when a 15-yr-old girl and her younger sister owned the whole biathalon (1.5km swim, 10km run).. AWESOME!! i dunno their timings though.. but, at least i got to know that gals rock too in these kind of physical activities..

and i heard a song on the radio: "If you get there before I do", by Collin Raye..
now it keeps on running thru my head.. romantic, but sad song.. worth listening.. it's the only english song that i like so far..
here's the chorus:
"if you get there before i do
don't give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are through
i don't know how long i'll be
but i'm not gonna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
until i see you again
i'll be lovin' you
love me"

i hate my bad habit..

2007-03-11T18:48:00.000+08:00

as usual, i've been playing non-stop on my computer.. and no time to look thru my uni brochures..
and i have not yet applied to any uni this yr..
crap..
how i wish i haf more determination to go into uni.. esp when given my crappy results..

more crappy thoughts..

2007-03-09T23:32:00.000+08:00

the past week had been a relatively tough week.. lots of things to study in camp, coz of the stupid Special Skill Diving Course.. 2 tests.. forced to write reflections every night by our training officer.. thinking whether to retake 'A' levels or not.. learning to play mahjong.. haha

o well.. i guess i've made up my mind to retake 'A's.. although a lil pricey, but i believe dat i haf juz enuf willpower to make it.. any extra help is vry much appreciated..

today, i had this weird feeling.. i felt that my life is juz not worthwhile.. no objectives, no goals, no meaning.. full of uncertainties which i do not like at all.. juz felt like running away from everything..

then, an edited version of an extract from the anime Vandread came to me:
'Worries, doubts, jealousy'; I was only thinking about myself, that's why I never cared about what the people around me were thinking. It didn't matter to me. But now I know, they're on my mind. Now when I think of them, I could never think about running away. I really feel that I want to be stronger for all of them. I won't run away. Even if I'm like this, there are people out there that believe in me. So it's for them, I will continue to fight on. And this is the proof that I'm alive!

ok, this sounds a lil too extreme.. but i can say that most of this is true.. at least this made me felt a lil stronger.. up to u peeps out there to interpret this extract..

if u want more of these kind of 'life lessons', i suggest u watch this anime.. Vandread

2007-03-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

juz like the one stroke that will convert the word "suffering" into "happiness",
I'm looking for the one person who will convert my suffering into happiness..

inspiration from the movie Helen the Baby Fox

confused..

2007-02-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

confused.. what should i do next?

i'm scared of the consequences of my actions..

y muz this happen??? juz when i was about to ......

o well.. i guess this is part and parcel of life.. mental and emotional uncertainties..

THANKS!!

2007-02-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

1st and foremost, i muz thank sze bim for helping me design this blog for me.. although this is nothing compared to her own blog, PUFFEE.. haha.. nevertheless, thanks alot!!

today i went to town, saw alot of gd-looking girls and women.. man! it was a right choice i made to go to town instead of DoTA-ing wif my frens today.. lol

anyway, i was in town to look for some jap music cds and video cds.. could find some, but price-wise, a lil over my budget.. wait till i save more 1st..

thought of the day:
Does fashion make a person? Or do people create fashion?

newbie..

2007-02-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

still kinda new to this blogging system.. may look quite boring, and lots of features missing.. bear with me.. i'm still learning..

you may have already noticed that my url sounds dumb..
http://wangxiangxin.blogspot.com
i purposely chose this cos' its unique, one of a kind, and that no one else will ever think of choosing it, unless maybe he/she has the same name as me..

nah.. kidding.. actually, i can't think of any other names at the moment.. will change if i feel like changing it.. :)

nothing much happened in camp today.. except that we ran alot in the morning.. and PRETENDED to help out others in the afternoon..

after we're secured, my DoTA LAN clan went to Sembawang Shopping Center to play DoTA again, as scheduled on every thursday supposedly.. WUSS got to see Shu En, and got so happy about it.. and i can say that i improved again in today's games.. haha

thought of the day:
Do you still remember the very first dream you had?
from the show "Tokyo Friends"

1st post.. full of thoughts..

2007-02-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

what is the purpose of my existence?
this question has been haunting me for a very long time..

what do i live for? why am i here? zzz.. full of thoughts..

since this is my 1st post, i shall do a lil' self-intro:

-xiang xin here;
-aka Believe, XX, toothsqueeze;
-calls myself Kenshin;
-20 this year;
-born in the year of the rabbit (cute :p);
-star sign: virgo;
-birthstone: sapphire;
-currently a diver in Naval Diving Unit Clearance Diving Group (Mine Disposal Team)
-likes: DoTA; GunZ; playing the electone; listening to music; Otsuka Ai; BoA; watching most anime; Rurouni Kenshin; playing chinese chess (PCC.. whatever..); sports; iced milo; pondering, pondering and pondering..
-dislikes: smokers smoking next to me (sry if i have offended anyone..); LOUD music; seafood; choices; erm.. uncertainty?
-talks very very little (serious..);
-don't really know how to open up;
-only open up when with friends who have the same hobbies as me;
-pessimist at times, optimist at others.. never a realist..
-no life..

enough about me.. now about what happened today..

today was a dangerous, but fortunate, day..

on my way home, in the bus, i passed by a vehicular accident.. i think a car rammed into a double-decker bus.. the same number i was in.. bus number 8.. i was thinking: fortunately i was late and took the later bus.. coz my seat was at the back on the right, the same place where the car crashed into the other bus..

phew..

ok.. shall pen down my thoughts of the day now..

If you think that remembering things is difficult, try forgetting them..
Some things can never be erased from your mind no matter what you do..
"Time heals all wounds"
Is it true?
If so, how long?
I'm about to find out..